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? Mum lifted her foot and took off her slipper and walked over toBasil, who was backing off, hastily. Mum grabbedBasil by the ear and dragged him to the sofa. She unbuttoned his short pantsand pulled them down, forcing Basil to take off his jacket. As Enid giggled, watching, Mum pulledBasil?s underpants down as well. Mum sat downand dragged Basil over her short skirt, and began whacking him with theslipper. WHAP! SMACK! WHACK SLAP! THWACK! SLAP! Basil begancrying and kicking his legs, and Beryl and Enid watched rather amused, while Enid toyed with the stud in her nose.After Mum had given Basil about twenty with the slipper, he was still shouting (Sob) ?It?snot (sob) fair! I (sob) want to see my (sob) friends, you old hag!? Mum becameannoyed. ?Enid, pass me Daddy?s old shillelagh.? Enid picked up an old crooked Scottish walking stick, andMum pushed Basil off her lap. Rising, she pulled Basil up, his pants nowfalling to his ankles, and threw him across the arm of the sofa. WHACK!WHACK!. She said yes and then got her business done with, and I started the hamburgers on the stove.She offered to do the salad, and we chatted while we prepared the meal, catching up with each other and refreshing our friendship. I realized that I had missed her company and her bubbly personality. We sat on the couch afterward and sipped a beer, smoking and chatting a little bit.Out of the blue she asked, "Have you gotten laid yet?"Flustered, I stuttered, "Nuh-no." Why not?" she said. "You're pretty." I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. She asked, "Still looking for 'Mr. Right', or 'Mr. Perfect'?" I'd settle for a guy who was average as long as he was normal," I said. That required me to explain my criteria. "I want somebody about my age, a little taller than me, and with a modicum of manners so I can eat in public with him and not be embarrassed."Kim guffawed. "You ain't askin' for much, are ya?" I'm not really looking for anyone," I said. "I want someone to ask me for a.
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